I am a Catholic

I am a Catholic. 

The moment we are born into this world, we do not have choices. Our parents choose and decide for us. That includes our set of beliefs, our lifestyle, and the society we associate with. It is only when we grow older that we begin to change choices and sometimes go against the ones we were given. It is only when we grow older that we start to become ourselves.

Religion was a big deal for me when I was younger. I was in church choirs during high school and college. It taught me a lot. Not just about singing but naturally about Catholicism as well.

As I was getting older, however, I slowly got turned off with my religion because of the people in it and the priests who I considered as supposed-examples. Everyone was a sinner, I realized! Most of them are even hypocrites. So I started to take a step back from my religion and gradually abandoned the routines dictated by the church.

In the dawn of my adulthood, I felt free. I had choice. I had freewill more than ever. Which was ironic because even though freewill is one of the best things God gave man, I felt I had less of it while inside the world of religion. But in a strange twist of fate, after just a couple of years, I was led into a born-again Christian community by a dear friend. I started attending their Sunday services. Little by little, I absorbed their beliefs. Soon I was in a new religion.

It didn't last that long though. After just a year, I found myself getting away again - trying to break free. I left for exactly the same reasons I became inactive as a Catholic. People were judgmental despite the tolerance taught by Christ and some were even more critical of other religions.

From then on, I no longer believed in religion as a perfect body of knowledge and truth. There is no such thing as a perfect system. But even though I do not fully believe in religion, that doesn't mean it has no purpose. Yes, we can think for ourselves. We can create our own set of beliefs if we want. But not everyone is willing to do that. In fact, the majority of people would just want to be fed with rules and live with it. In that sense, it is important that there be a standard for morals - a constant visible reminder lest we forget. That's where religion comes in. Without it, conscience would be unreliable. We are only as conscientious as the amount of sense of right and wrong we have acquired. Therefore, for many individuals that would rather take a package instead of assembling parts, religion is an important tool in their lives. Not to mention the feeling of belongingness that it gives to those who need it. I do not condemn the common man. I am somewhat taken aback, however, by ardent believers who ram their beliefs into other people's throats. I am not against religion. But I am against religious zealots.

It is said that wars only root from either politics or religion - a struggle for power. And religion is indeed power for both those who strictly follow it and those who control it.

Last year when my son turned one-year old, my wife and I began to take him to church. For a few times, we tried both - a Christian service which my wife's mother goes to; and the Catholic chapel in our village. Even with no intention of choosing, it didn't take long until we figured out that we were better off attending the Catholic mass.

It occurred to me that the word 'mass' also meant the 'general public'. That's when I realized how accepting the Catholic church is to everyone without requiring any commitment. Like a family who lets you be whatever you want to be and if ever you go wrong, you can always return home. Additionally, the scientific sense of 'mass', which means weight in gravity is somehow analogous to the unspoken force of the Catholic mass while we are bound on this earth. Sure, it doesn't talk and get into details a whole lot except for the homily part. But it goes straight to the point. It's a bit complex with its steps but it's simple with its messages - which doesn't delve in misconstrued parts of the Bible but focuses on the essence of being good.

So I may be more of a man of faith than a man of religion. But I consider the religion I was given as the best one.

I am a Catholic.